I've got TABS

Otherwise known as Travel Approval Blues Syndrome.  Some of the symptoms include lack of energy, intense cravings for chocolate, and an aversion to housework (or anything productive, really).   Also the inability to keep away from the telephone or email, despite the lack of any encouraging signs of new and long-awaited information.  It also keeps you from concentrating from the task at hand, such as laundry.  I sprayed all of Esther's food stained clothes with Febreze instead of Spray 'n Wash.  Sigh.  I've got it bad.  

When we were waiting for Esther, this part of the wait was pure agony.  I wish I could describe it to those of you who have not gone through this, but I think it is a bit like trying to describe childbirth.  You really cannot find the right words.  Sometimes you even forget yourself how it was, but when those contractions start up, you think, "Oooooh, I remember this.  This is gonna hurt!"  I guess I'm having contractions, friends.  I admit, I tried to distance myself a little this time with Heng Ai, hoping these feelings wouldn't really kick in until I got on the plane, that it wouldn't be so painful this time.  No such luck.  Ouch, ouch, ouch (breathe, breathe, breathe, etc)!

Okay, out of my whiney booth.  There isn't a darn thing I can do to get that TA to arrive any sooner, even if I feel like we got skipped.  I sure am having a grand time with Esther and the boys.   I'm trying to focus on Esther more, knowing that the arrival of a big sister will affect her more than anyone.  She's really into books lately and loves to carry around big piles of books, settle herself in with a blanket, and enjoy "reading" to herself (the same 10 or so books, over and over and over again).  She moved into a big girl bed at Christmas and I have loved lying down with her at nap time, and watching out of the corner of my eye to see her eyelids droop, then finally close.  She has been very affectionate lately too, and wants to hug and be held, which is just delightful.  At naptime she usually leans over to say, "We're best fwends, right Mom?  Best buddies."  How can you not be helplessly in love with such a sweetie?

Josh and Caleb had to dress up today for the Valentine's etiquette brunch, where (shudder) they were each partnered with a girl they had to escort, serve, etc.  At first they resisted dressing up at all, but by the time they left this morning, to my surprise, they both had white shirts, ties, and sport coats on.  They looked so sharp, wish I had taken a picture (story of my life).  Josh has some really great friends who give him great recommendation on books to read, and that boy can charge through a series of books in a week.  We've caught him reading waaaay after bedtime, but as much as I want to chastise him, I'm secretly proud. 

Caleb brought home a New Year's Resolution list that he made at school.  His two resolutions are to turn in his homework on time, and to build a robot or machine by 2012.  Okaaaay.  He'll have to work with Dad on that one.  He does get a kick out of taking things apart and trying to fix them, and as always, he is absolutely confident that he'll figure it out.  He modified his valentines' box to include a slide with backstop.  Very inventive (but lousy at cleaning up after his experiments.

I should get to bed  - this post has taken me about an hour and a half, but that is mostly because Jason has been talking nonstop, and I'm trying to convey the impression that I'm actually paying attention  :)

LOA! LOA!

We found out on Monday that a family we met through the internet (who are also adopting their daughter from Wuhan, Hubei, China) got their LOA, also known as Letter of Acceptance, the next step in the China adoption process. The LOA is a big thing because it is the biggest question mark in the process - the wait for LOA can be from 50 days to 150 days, and the uncertainty is particularly discouraging. This family was logged in the day after us, so I was cautiously hopeful that we'd hear something soon, especially since we wanted to travel with this family (our daughters have been in photos together, so we are hoping they are buddies and will draw strength from each other as they go through this monumentally changing experience). So, I sent a timid "is there any way to find out, if you have the time, could you check...etc" email to our agency and surprise, the next day we got word that our LOA had arrived as well! This is GOOD NEWS, all we wait for now is Travel Approval, and once we have that we can make a consulate appointment and book our flights! We are expecting to travel some time between the end of February and the first of March. AND I can finally post a picture of the little girl who has been slowly growing in our hearts. The first picture is one taken when her initial adoption paperwork was submitted. She seems so young, and so sad. Most of the pictures we have of her are of a very solemn faced, serious little girl, and I have been so anxious to see a smile on her face. In November, we sent money to a company in China that sent her a cake for her birthday, and we were rewarded with the most glorious photos, and a glimpse of how beautiful she is when she smiles. I'm hoping that the expression on her birthday photo is from knowing that she is loved, that she has a family who wants her and is excited to see her. What a difference love can make!

I still can't quite wrap my head around being the mom to four children (though if you count Jason, I already am) but I know in my soul that this is the right thing, and that my loving Father in Heaven will bless me, will stretch my heart so that there is room for this precious daughter, will forgive me for my inherent selfishness, will give me the strength and tools to help my new daughter and my other children adjust to the changes ahead. Thank heavens Mike is totally on board about this. I think he has been more sure from the beginning of this adoption than I have been. He is such a great dad, and especially tender and loving with Esther, so I know he will win HengAi over in no time. I just hope she likes me!

The holidays

Well, I have been a rather shoddy blogger lately, but at least I don't still have a photo of McCain on my blog (ahem, Rose... time to update, girl!). The holidays were awesome, and for the first time in my motherhood life, I regretted the boys going back to school. No, it isn't that they suddenly realized how much they adore each other and spent their days desperately trying to serve each other with love and kindness (let me pause a moment, the thought of them behaving like that just makes me laugh, hahahaha). I think it is just because the Christmas holidays are short enough that you get a break from homework and the routine of school, but not so long that you forget just how lucky you are to have the break, and start in with the "I'm boooorrrrreeedddd, Mom." Plus Mike had Dec 25, 26, Jan 1 & 2 off, and we were able to go some fun places together. AND, I got my Christmas cards out before Christmas Eve, and that I haven't done since, well, ever, I think.

Mike and I have always been fortunate to live near our parents, and so every Christmas holiday we've tried to fit in both families. At first, we went to two Christmas Eve parties, then to both set of parents' houses on Christmas Day. This year, for the first time, we stayed home on both Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day, and it was wonderful. Not that we could have gone anywhere if we'd wanted to; we got hit with 18 inches of snow and traveling anywhere was pretty much out of the question.

Photos are of the kids on Christmas morning before opening presents,

Sam and Jen's gift: Nerf Torture,

Esther kissing her frog from G & G Housley, and

Mike with his always-requested rope.

The boys knew we were getting new bunk beds, but assumed they would be for the girls, so it was fun on Christmas morning to have the final gift be new reading lamps that were desk-type. Caleb looked at me like I was a doofus and reminded me that these lamps wouldn't work for their beds, and that's when I got to tell him that they'd work fine for their new beds sitting out in the garage. They are bookshelf bunkbeds, the kind of beds they had wanted since they are such packrats and their bedside tables can't possibly hold all the "treasures" they need to keep near them (and that they keep rescuing from the garbage can, darn it). They were pretty excited, until it came time to assemble the monstrosity - then Mike and I were on our own. The beds look great, and the girls' room, with the boys' old beds, is all ready for two little princesses. Yeah, if I'd been thinking, I'd have taken pictures when the rooms were nice and tidy. I'll work on that... Mike surprised me with a new computer, and not just a new one, but an iMac. It looks awesome, seems to work great except that I can't figure out most of the things I want to do (which is why I'm doing this post from our laptop). I even had to look up how to shut the thing down! I'm sure we'll get it figured out, at some point. What I really need is the latest version of Macintosh for Dummies.

We took a quick trip to St. George and Mesquite to get a break from the snow and cold, and to visit with Josh's birthmom and her family. We had met her father and brother just after Josh was born, but it was a highly emotional time for us all. This time, we just were able to relax, eat out a couple of times, have Sunday dinner in Mesquite at Mike's parents' condo (thank you Bob and Linda!) and play Pit until we were all hoarse. It was surprising how relaxed and non-stressful it was to spend time together. We are so lucky to have this opportunity to spend some time with them. I think it gives Josh lots to think about, but overall it is a very positive thing for him - at some point he will have answers to questions that many adopted children have in their lives. And our daughters will have the concept that birthmothers are real, they exist, and maybe that will answer some questions for them as well.

New Year's Eve has never been a big holiday for Mike and I, especially now that we have children. So, no big plans for the grownups, as we usually struggle to stay up till midnight anyway. We did promise to wake up the boys at midnight to bang some pots and pans, but they told us to go away when we tried to wake them up (but didn't remember it in the morning, so we were roundly chastized for failing to keep our word). We did have a nice dinner planned, with a whole roasted chicken. Just before dinner was ready, I was trying to remove some Nerf Guns from their ridiculous packaging. I couldn't get the tips of the scissors under the cable tie that secured the gun to the cardboard, so I went to grab Mike's pocket knife. I thought I was being careful, but my honkin' muscles were too much and I powered through that cable tie and continued on into my left thumb. I dropped the knife and started cursing myself for being so foolish as I ran to the bathroom, then hollered for Mike. Of course, the boys could tell there was something cool and interesting happening, so before long we had the whole dang family in the little bathroom with everyone trying to see. I let go of the grip on my thumb just long enough for Mike to say, "Yep, you're going to need stitches." Surprisingly, it didn't really hurt that bad, and I just wanted to drive myself to the Urgent Care, but apparently they closed early that day (Hey! They never did that when Mike worked there!) and I could either make a $300 trip to the ER or bind it up good, eat dinner, put the kids to bed, then have Mike stitch it up at his clinic, all for the price of a hug and kiss. Hmmm. $300 or some alone time with Mike... The lengths I go to for a date night with my hubby!

So, we spent our evening at his office. I was very interested in watching him stitch me up, until he deadened my thumb (and THAT hurt!) and then it was like watching him handle a dead finger, and that kind of creeped me out. Especially when he had to probe in there to see if I cut a tendon. Eeeeewwww. I was very lucky and missed them both. It was cool to see Mike at work, and know there probably aren't many other doctors in Cache Valley with more experience stitching up fingers. So, eight of the finest stitches ever seen (this man can tie a square knot!). He did say I was not to wash dishes until the stitches come out, but let's get real. Like I'm really going to get out of that. He did not exempt me from changing poopy diapers, unfortunately. Don't you think there would be more germs to worry about in that situation?

After New Years, we packed up and drove the 3 hours to my parents' cabin near Strawberry Reservior, and had a great time sledding and hanging out there. My parents have worked so hard to make that a welcoming place, and I love seeing lots of toys, books, misc things from my childhood get a second chance up there. It is a long way to drive, but we had such a good time there. My dad just bought a 4-wheeler, and we drove that thing up and down the road that was perfect for sledding. Sled down, tow everyone back up, sled down, tow everyone back up, repeated about 100 times. Esther was such a trooper, never complained of being cold, and had no fear on a sled. Oddly though, she wouldn't walk on the deck of the cabin without holding someone's hand because she could see down through the cracks to the ground 15 feet below. Of course I was able to take one photo before the camera battery died, and it was a lousy photo at that. We really had a good time, and the kids all did great in the car, both coming and going. We stopped at a Chinese restaurant in Heber on the way home, and Caleb ate a whole plate of salted pepper squid. And this is the child who turns up his nose at peanut butter! I'm thinking he'll do just fine in China.

A Rite of Passage

A few posts ago I mentioned how badly Caleb (and Josh) needed haircuts, and since I was tired of paying $20 each for haircuts they didn't like, I figured it was time to start doing them myself again. Caleb was less than excited about it, but considering the alternative was for me to cut his hair at night while he was asleep (with presumable worse results) he settled in for the ordeal. I didn't do a terrible job but since the boy likes his hair a la Albert Einstein style, I'd say we're both satisfied.

I had turned on How the Grinch Stole Christmas for him to watch during the haircut, and figured this was a good time to run upstairs and take a shower, assuming Esther was as engrossed in the movie as the boys. My first mistake. My second was to leave the haircutting scissors on the table. You can probably guess what is coming next! I returned from my shower to see this on the floor:

And my first thoughts were, "Please let that be cat hair, please let that be cat hair - it's too long to be cat hair - aaaaah!" Esther was pretty proud to have accomplished something so grown-up by herself, and I just couldn't get mad at her.

Sad, though. Very sad. We were just getting to the point where her hair was filling in and she looked less like a boy and more like a girl!

I think she caught on that her attempts at self trim didn't make me ecstatic, but I know it could have been much, much worse. She only took a little off the front and focused mainly on one side and the back. When I put her hair up into two ponytails, one is significantly shorter than the other! I love this girl, though we are back to wearing pink, pink, pink, and people still think she's a boy if her hair is down. Sigh.

I've done the unthinkable

Let me just stand on my soapbox for a moment and address the issue of Christmas arriving before we even eat all the Halloween candy (which tends to be November 1st at this house). Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and it just gets skipped over every year. I have steadfastly refused to 1. put up Christmas decorations, 2. listen to Christmas music, or 3. buy much in the way of Christmas presents until the Thanksgiving dishes are washed and dried (part of that, I will admit, is that I procrastinate everything until the last minute anyway - just check the postmark of the last Housley family Christmas letter...).

I am ashamed to say, I have failed on all three this year. It all started at Sam's Club, and I place all the blame on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Their CD was for sale, and rather inexpensively too! And then I saw CD's by Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, and Harry Connick Jr. And I found one that I'd never heard of, but looked promising: The Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Turns out they are neither an orchestra, nor Siberian, I'd guess. How did I not know that they were heavy metal? It's not that I dislike heavy metal music, per se, but it was just such a shock - the distance between what I expected and the reality was a vast wasteland of surprise and dismay. Mike and the boys all think it is cool, so there goes the option to quietly toss it in the box bound for goodwill. I love the Josh Groban CD, and enjoy Sarah Brightman, though I think Sissel has a better voice (gasp! You've never heard of Sissel! You are missing out!!!) I have managed to exert some self control and still haven't opened the MoTab CD - that I'll save for the way home from the family Thanksgiving dinner.
Then after visiting my grandparents, Esther and I stopped for a delicious trip to Target (our beloved Cache Valley has two, count 'em, TWO Walmarts, but no Target) and I found just the thing for neighbor gifts and Mike's co-worker gifts, something I agonize over every year. And then the excitement just hit me - I could be done gift shopping before December 24th! It truly is possible this year! After that it was a slippery slope, and thanks to a church craft night I am proudly displaying my countdown blocks and bobble head Santa/reindeer/snowman. I even started addressing our Christmas cards last Saturday (though I still lack a "here's what we did all year" letter and family photo, so I'm sure I'll still be racing to the post office on Christmas Eve, fully believing that if I can get them postmarked before Christmas Day, that it still counts!).

Merry Chr - I mean, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Popsicle Terrorist Camp

The kids and I were making popsicle stick bombs yesterday, and I got to wondering, does this teach them the fun of explosives? Am I creating future terrorists? I console myself with the knowledge that the thrill of blowing things up is inherent in the male gender, and has been a part of the male experience since the Stone Age/Garden of Eden, however you look at it. I'm sure Adam took a few of those lucious fruits and lobbed them, just to watch them splat. And maybe I'm being sexist - Eve may have enjoyed it just as much. I know Esther was having a blast (no pun intended) with the popsicle sticks. Caleb even invented a few new designs. Doesn't he need a haircut though? All three kids have a thing with building "forts" and I've tried to ban them but I guess I'm not specific enough. And the only reason I have tried to ban them is because they dump all the cushions off the couch and loveseat, haul out all the blankets in the house, spend hours constructing complex but unstable tunnels and dens (using things like potted plants and computers to anchor the edges of blankets), and then promptly begin to fight over the proper use and ownership of the elaborate. Then they get in trouble and get sent to their rooms and who has to clean it all up? mmmmmmeeeeeeee.

Still, I didn't specifically outlaw building a fort BEHIND the couch, I just said no using of couch cushions, so here is a picture of their latest creation. A few hours after the photo was taken, the plants did indeed take a tumble. Those are some hardy spider plants - they get dumped several times a year and yet they are still alive (and that is no easy feat for any plant in my house).

I do have to brag on Josh today. He has joined a county children's choir, and loves it. Finally we've found his niche! Today I drove the carpool, and planning to go grocery shopping, grabbed a water bottle for the road. I was trying to drive and open the water bottle - it was new and had a safety tab thing on it - and had it between my legs to secure it. I got the bottle open and my incredibly muscular thighs (ha ha snort!) put just enough pressure on it to geyser about a cup of water right into my lap. I hopped up out of my seat, grabbed napkins, knowing full well I had just soaked myself in a rather inconvenient spot, and had one of the kids hand me one of those reusable shopping bags to sit on. And yes, I continued to drive throughout! Bless those county roads... How am I supposed to walk into Sam's Club looking like I had just wet my pants? Then Josh came to my rescue, and offered to let me tie his jacket around my waist to disguise the obvious wet spot. Thank you thank you, my sweet boy! He didn't even mock me like a normal ten-year-old would!

I also have to publicly thank my neighbors Brandon and Kristin for coming to our rescue on Monday night. Mike finally got me to cut his hair, and 2/3 of the way through, the electric hair trimmer I was using gave up the ghost. I knew we needed a new one - it was so dang dull. Still, Mike was left with a sizable topknot of hair, and it was 10pm. I knew Brandon and Kristin would still be up, so I called with the hope that they had one I could borrow. They agreed only if I brought Mike down so they could see, and actually had a brand new set they were about to take back (Kristin finally admitted to herself that she had no desire to cut anyone's hair) and I was able to just buy it from her. So now I have a nifty new hair trimmer set, complete with an eyebrow guide. Anyone's eyebrows need a trim?

I know this post is all over the place, but I also needed to share my good experience with my grandparents on Tuesday. About a year ago, I felt the distinct impression that I needed to get their oral histories documented. I made one attempt to video my grandparents talking about their early life, then found myself too busy to keep it up. A few months later, my grandfather had a stroke that has left him unable to fully verbalize his thoughts, and it frustrates him a great deal. I have missed my opportunity with him and I will always regret it. Part of that guilt has motivated me to spend one day a week down with them (they live about an hour and 15 minutes away), and just help them around the house with whatever they need. My parents (who live four houses up the street) will help with Esther, though she seems to be the highlight of my visit to them anyway. This week I pulled out lots of the dead plants and just helped clean up their yard a little, and Jason (who had a day off of school and wanted to come) washed windows. They were so grateful, and it made me feel fantastic to have helped in some way. My dear grandpa, who has always been so sprightly and funny, struggled with what he wanted to say. I knew what he was thinking, so I just told him I loved him too. I know my time with them is limited, and I am determined not to let this precious time slip away.

I invested a few months ago in a BBC set of movies based on Charles Dickens novels, and just finished watching "Martin Chuzzlewit." Awesome. It deals with aging and heirs and those who love with no thought of being included in the will. I'd never even heard of the book, so I'll have to add it to my list. I want to watch some of the others, but I also want to read the books too, so I'd better get cracking. I'm almost finished with "Great Expectations" which I have read before but love even more this time. Can't wait to see the movie for that one! Speaking of movies... I am proud to say I am NOT going to see the Twilight movie this weekend, but only because we have a Housley family party at the same time that my sisters are going to see it. Rats. I've decided that books (and movies) like the Twilight and Harry Potter series are like M & M's - yummy, and I can munch right through them, but books written by Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, these are fine Swiss chocolates that have to be slowly savoured. Not as easy to get, but infinitely more satisfying. Trust me to come up with a good chocolate metaphor.

Things I've done/ have yet to do

To participate just copy and paste in your own blog, and bold all of the things you have done. It was interesting to find out that I had done more than I expected to have done, but there are some experiences I'm ashamed are still on my to-do list. Happy discoveries!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland - Disney World three times though!
8. Climbed a mountain - Mount Olympus in Greece
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - in 5th grade
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris - disclaimer: I toured Europe with my brother and parents when I was five, but I'm only marking the things I actually REMEMBER seeing
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - on the way back to Athens from Mt. Olympus
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - to get to the train station from Mt. Olympus!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping - with my mom and sisters in Fiji
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - I remember my dad threatening to throw my socks in
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise - it was during a hurricane, so no pleasant memories there
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - coming up next spring!!!
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - bought plenty though
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job - Baskin Robbins while in high school - it was kind of mutual
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

There you have it folks. Enjoy going through your own list.