Grandpas, go-carts, and lovely daughters

When my dad announced his retirement in June, I had all kinds of visions of hiring him as General Purpose Handyman to complete the myriad of home improvement projects we have here at the Housley House. Unfortunately, my mother and siblings all have the same idea, and poor dad has the next 15 years all scheduled out. Still, he did come up for a few days to help with placing a border around the rock walls in the back yard, something we've needed to do for, oh, seven years now. What a tough guy. He finished in about 2 days worth, and it looks marvelous. Now all I need to do is kill off the morning glory (experts estimate that will take 40 years) and then plant some nice rock wall plants. Sounds like a nice project for next spring...

He spent lots of time with the kids, especially Esther, and Caleb actually started to weep when he came home from school today to find that Grandpa and Tobi (the dog) had already gone home. Still, Grandpa has left behind his legacy: he and Caleb finally mounted a seat on that old go cart. We are all prodigiously proud of the recycling effort that went in to this go cart: notice what the seat is made from? And Lilo the cat is certainly not sorry to see Tobi go. She only once ventured downstairs while he was here, and she didn't make that mistake again. I've never seen her skitter away so fast.

We've had a few requests for a photo of our new daughter - we can't decide quite what to call her yet. Her Chinese name is Heng Ai (pronounced hung-eye) which doesn't quite roll off the tongue. It has a nice story behind it though: Heng is the name shared by all the children who entered the orphanage that month, and Ai, meaning love, was given to her partly because she is so cute, and partly after the name of the policeman who brought her in. I would LOVE to meet that man and thank him for his small role in her life. We know so little about her past. I've wanted to share some of this but it is sensitive infomation, so please think carefully about who you share it with. She was found abandoned at the age of two years old, and it just hurts my heart to think of a lonely little girl crying for her mother. I know it is hard to imagine what kind of person would just walk away, but I refuse to believe it was anything but an act of great sorrow and grief, an act of desperation. She had recently had surgery on her ankle, and it was not healing - in fact, it was downright lifethreatening. My suspicion was that the parents (who COULD have abandoned her at birth, but did not) intended to raise this little girl, but after a poorly-done surgery, they brought her to Wuhan, only to find out that the necessary medical care to save this little girl's leg was more than they had or could ever get. It is hard for those of us who receive fairly decent medical care (with health insurance to cover the majority of the costs) to understand what it would mean to a poor family with absolutely no resources (not a single credit card!) to face this kind of obstacle. I don't for a minute believe that she was an unwanted child, and abandoned because she was a girl. I can't, I WON'T judge these parents, this family. There is no way for me to walk in their shoes. All I can do is give their daughter, my daughter, the opportunities they would want and might have provided if circumstances were different. That's a promise I've made to each of the birthparents of my adopted children. I'm gonna love them forever. That's the easiest part of parenting!

Anyway, what I started to say is that the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) won't let me post her photo in a public forum until we have a letter from them called an LOA - we won't get that for four months or more. We will travel to get her shortly after that. SO, if you want to see a photo, and you aren't just some random stranger, just let me know and I'll email one to you. She doesn't look anything like Esther, I think, but a friend mentioned she has the Hubei face and cheeks. Can't wait to kiss those cheeks!!! And many thanks to those of you who have left comments or sent emails. It is wonderful to have your support!

Esther has been especially cute the last few days (she was charming her grandpa!) and I LOVE this age! Well, most of the time. She is speaking so clearly and her voice is so so sweet. Well, most of the time! She doesn't sound so sweet when she responds, "FINE, baby!" but we are helping her replace it with a more demure "okay, mama." Josh and Caleb think it is hilarious to teach her rude comments, and she willingly parrots them if they will laugh. I'm not thinking it is quite so funny. They nicknamed her Bootchie Bum-Bum, but after a parental order to cut the Bum-Bum, she still answers to Bootchie. Someone please tell me if that is a rude word in some obscure language! She is quick to say sorry if she bumps or hurts someone, and yesterday I said, "That's okay, I forgive you." Clear as day she said, "I forgive you too, Mama." I remember when she first came home how anxious I was to hear her little voice speak to me, how I longed to hear her say, "I love you Mama," and it is every bit as sweet as I expected. I also remember thinking how well she was bonding with us at first, and I think she was, but it is so much stronger now - it just keeps getting better and better with this little girl.